Dusting Off the Welcome Mat

Hello! Pleased to meet you! Welcome to America, land of contrasts and differences, stark shadows and rosy visions; industry, wealth, weakness, poverty and pride.

It's a grand idea, philosophically speaking, but there sure is a lot of room for misunderstanding. This seems to be true of any philosophical endeavor, and the resulting exploration is both volatile and exciting. Everything around here appears to be open to interpretation and marinated in personal opinion.

If you really think about it, it's a pretty miraculous accomplishment, this amazing place. It's as if a room full of hedonistic, sugar-saturated ten-year-olds have somehow figured out how to read a multi-language instruction manual that's missing about 90% of the total pages and managed to build a space cruiser capable of sustaining millions of lives indefinitely, all while simultaneously mastering the latest most popular dance moves and video game cheat codes.

Of course, I would hate to slander the ten-year-olds; to state it more plainly, it could be attributed to rooms full of elected representatives who somehow miraculously get the whole thing to work without actually knowing what they're doing, but I think the room full of ten-year-olds sounds more likely to succeed.



And Now, A Brief Interlude; Brought To You in Part By the Illustrious Gallery of Goobers:

"What the hell are you getting at?? Are you insulting this great country??"
"No, not really."
"Well, it sure sounds like it. You should watch the way you talk."
"Really?"
"You sound unconstitutional! You'll offend someone."
"Speaking my mind is unconstitutional?"
"Listen, I'm just looking out for your best interests."
"It's in my best interests to hold my tongue?"
"Yes! Exactly!"
"Because it's unconstitutional to speak my mind?"
"Yes!"
"But you're speaking your mind, isn't that unconstitutional?"
"That's different."
"Why?"
"Because I'm right!"



(Having lived through several versions of this conversation with completely unrelated individuals, I firmly attest to the accuracy of its presentation.)

Okay, back to business. Where was I? Welcome to America, great philosophy, difficult execution, room full of ten-year-olds, miraculous execution by rooms full of partisan politicians, thought derailment by peanut gallery voices, recap...

Oh, right, it's amazing how distracting all those extra voices can be when they're shouting their opinions at you. It makes it very difficult to answer anyone at all.

The fact of the matter is, yes, everyone is entitled to an opinion. Everyone is also entitled to express such an opinion. Short of inciting a riot or other violence, everyone is entitled to have said opinions actually heard by others... which means, oh Glorious Goobers, that, contrary to popular belief, it is not about who is right or wrong, it is about everyone being allowed to speak.

Guess what, I'm speaking. Feel free to talk back.